My father, may Allah have mercy on him…

Memories of him are not as vivid as they once were. As the years go by which are preordained as his death, I am struggling to remember how he looked, but if memory serves me correct I don’t recall ever remembering his handsome  face (he must have been handsome otherwise where did I get my looks from?).  What I do recollect of his appearance is that he was tall, slim build and had very soft, thick hair. My father was merciful, quiet, easy going and a peace lover. One memory that is imprinted in my heart is him coming home from his other wife and me outrunning my siblings to greet him as he always brought us something. I still recall how he mercifully embraced me and carried me on his arms to the house. I remember missing him so much that I didn’t leave his side until I couldn’t keep my eyes open from sleepiness. I remember uncontrollable tears flowing from my mother’s eyes when she heard my father had been in a car accident. I remember her rushing to Mogadishu to be with him and leaving us in the care of my oldest sister Fatima. The next thing I remember is hearing my father is dead and running as fast as my little legs can carry me in the vast land of greenery that surrounded our hut. I remember everyone crying especially Fatima saying ‘my father! My father! Oh I’m an orphan!’ putting her hands on her head bewilderedly, my mother, telling her not to be silly, as she’s too old to be considered as an orphan. However, I don’t recall myself crying even though I loved him as much as the others if not more. It was only years later that I grieved for his death; i used to look out the window every Sunday and cry until my eyes could no longer produce tears, and my eyes hollow with grief. I can’t entertain why I did that peculiar behaviour but I know that it was wrong.  Fifteen years has passed and I still think about my merciful father. I loved my father and I still do very much, however, I am pleased with whatever my Lord, the most High, decrees for me.Everyone shall taste death irrespective of age,colour, religion, male, female, granted.  I ask Allaah subhana wa t£ala, the most Merciful to grant him jannah and forgive his sins, Allahumma aameen.